I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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