break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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