I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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