I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
