We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
