Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
another moral hangover. fuck.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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