they need to just BURY HIM!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
