you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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