Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
