Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
