I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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