I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
