Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
