In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
