there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need help removing her.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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