I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
