So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The adults are the big ones right?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
