the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
