So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
