all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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