I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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