Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
