last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
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She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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