i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Two words: blizzard sex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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