Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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