i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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