between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
