There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
