The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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