I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We need to rekindle our bromance
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
