This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
