I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I could fuck to npr.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
