Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
