Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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