hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
