idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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