Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
