We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
