But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
