We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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