hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
