i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
