your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
