you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
