So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
