hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my liver is dry heaving
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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