She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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