Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
