Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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