I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
