All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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