what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
