so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
