During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
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before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
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You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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