when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
