Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize