I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
