I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize