Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
