I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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