So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
