Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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